


no right to love you

by allandmore99



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blowjobs, Booker needs therapy, Cunnilingus, Forgiveness, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Penis In Vagina Sex, Poly Guard, Repentance, Sort Of, Team Bicycle Booker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:19:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allandmore99/pseuds/allandmore99
Summary: Kink meme fill for the prompt: Booker goes on a mission to make up for what he did to his teammates by pleasuring all of them. Repeatedly.When Booker finally allows one of them to reciprocate, that’s when they know that he’s forgiven himself/accepted their forgiveness.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Everyone, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nile Freeman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	no right to love you

**Author's Note:**

> Slowly getting around to posting some of my kink meme fills here!
> 
> This one was for the following prompt: https://theoldguardkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/1106.html?thread=102994#cmt102994

The team insisted that they had forgiven him, but Booker still felt the guilt gnawing at him, even while he was thrilled beyond measure to be part of their little family again. He had been watching over them and had swooped in to rescue them from a mission gone wrong, sure—but that still was nowhere near enough to make up for everything he had done. Well, if he had caused them so much pain, he reasoned, he could try and drown it out by bringing them as much pleasure as possible.

It was far from the first time something like this had happened—after centuries together, the team had become very open about their sexuality and hadn’t hesitated to reach for each other for relief. After all, it was hard to feel close to a sexual partner outside the team, with the weight of such heavy secrets between them.

Still, Joe looked surprised when Booker brought up the possibility for the first time since his exile, as if he had thought Booker would no longer be interested in them in that way. They were the only three in the safehouse, Andy and Nile having gone out to the market, and Joe and Nicky were kissing, unashamed of their love and uncaring that Booker was still in the room. “I can suck Nicky while you take him,” Booker offered easily, and Nicky blinked through his lashes. 

“Do you want that, caro?” Joe asked, pressing kisses to Nicky’s jaw as he slid a finger into him, slowly, so slowly that it had Nicky whining with each movement. “Yes,” Nicky replied quickly. “He’s always good with his mouth, you know that.”

Booker beamed, glad that they would still allow him to serve them in this way, that they trusted him enough for this, at least. He climbed onto the bed beside them, shifting around to find a position that would let him suck Nicky while Joe was fingering him open. He had always liked to work up to it, to drag out the anticipation, so he started by leaving a line of kisses along Nicky’s hipbone, dipping his tongue into the other man’s belly button where he knew Nicky was strangely sensitive, sucking a mark into the tender flesh of his inner thigh. 

Joe had three fingers in Nicky by the time Booker finally took him in his mouth, making up for the teasing by swallowing the whole length down at once. Nicky groaned as his cock was surrounded by the delicious warmth, and he couldn’t help thrusting up once, twice. “Does that feel good, amore?” Joe asked, and Nicky nodded. “Good, I always want you to feel pleasure, my heart,” Joe replied and Booker’s own heart clenched at how romantic the two of them were.

Booker lost himself in the steady rhythm of bobbing up and down on Nicky’s length, occasionally pulling off to lick at the head, his fingers stroking lightly over Nicky’s balls. He had his eyes closed as he focused on his task, but he could tell when Joe pushed into Nicky, could hear Nicky’s hitched breath, felt his hips roll up as he pushed his cock deeper into Booker’s throat. Booker took it without complaint. He wanted this, wanted to be an instrument of pleasure for them, he who had been an instrument of so much pain.

Joe usually was the one to come first when he was fucking Nicky, but this time Booker’s attentions got Nicky to the edge first, and Booker smiled blissfully as he felt Nicky’s length pulsing against his tongue, as he swallowed down the thick spurts, continuing to suckle Nicky gently until the other man pushed him away with a groan.

It was only once Joe had somewhat recovered from the aftershocks of his own release that the two of them noticed that Booker was visibly, achingly hard. “Oh, Book,” Nicky remarked, already reaching out his hand. “Do you want—“ But Booker only flinched as if he’d been struck, and got up quickly, adjusting himself in his pants as he walked away.

It became somewhat of a theme. One night, they were sitting around the kitchen table of their latest safehouse talking about past lovers, when Nile complained that her former boyfriend never wanted to eat her out. Booker got this wounded look on his face, like he was personally affronted, and cleared his throat. Andy laughed, knowing exactly what he was thinking. “You should ask Booker,” she commented lightly as she finished the last of her whiskey. “He’s a champ at that, it’s his favourite.”

Booker’s cheeks were crimson, but he didn’t deny it. Nile raised an eyebrow. “Good to know,” she commented, and then the conversation moved on to other things. He had almost forgotten about it, but a few weeks later, the two of them were alone, Booker helping Nile with her French, when she looked over at him, squirming a bit as if she had something to ask him but was embarrassed about it. He was about to tell her to just spit it out when she finally worked up the courage. “Was Andy right? It’s your favourite? You really like doing it?” 

It took him a while to parse out what she was talking about, but really there were only a few things that would get her flushed like this. “Oh,” he replied, a little gruffly. “Yeah, I mean—“ he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly shy. “Yeah, I really do like it. Do you want—“ he hardly dared hope that that’s what she meant, but she was already nodding, and Booker’s mouth was watering. 

“Oh, oh, good—now?” She shrugged. “If you want.” He usually wasn’t so shy about this, but this was Nile, and they hadn’t done anything together yet, and he wanted to make her forget all about her shitty ex who clearly didn’t have an appreciation for the finer things in life. 

Booker was careful with her, laying her out and stripping her clothes off, piece by slow piece, then pressing his lips to seemingly-random parts of the newly-bared skin—the crook of her elbow, her breast just to the side of her nipple, above one of her ribs. 

Finally, he buried his face between her thighs, parting them gently with his hands and leaning in to lap up some of her wetness. She gasped at the first swipe of his tongue through her folds, and her hands impulsively went to the back of his head before she paused, clearly not sure if that was okay. He looked up with a soft smile. “Please, don’t hesitate,” he urged her. “You can do whatever you want.” 

His enthusiasm was hard to miss, Nile thought in between flashes of white-hot pleasure. He ate her out like he was starving for it, gently sucking at her clit and licking into her, tracing patterns against her folds. When he slid one finger into her as well, she nearly lost it, and her grip tightened on his head as she started to roll her hips, grinding slowly against him. He didn’t hesitate to let her know how much he was enjoying it, either, groaning and gasping against her core, and when she looked down at one point she could see that he was hard. 

When she came with a shout, her thighs tightening around him to hold him in place as she shook apart, he moaned loudly and pressed a hand to his own cock, but he didn’t do anything, just held his hand there, as if he was trying to hold himself back. Once she was no longer trembling, she smiled sweetly at him. “I can see why Andy recommended you,” she teased. “How do you want me?” But he just shook his head, getting up with difficulty. “Thank you for letting me do that, it was pleasure enough,” he said and left the room, leaving her more than a little confused.

Then there were those times when Booker would pick up on Andy’s tells and know that she was antsy for it but didn’t feel like going out to find an anonymous lover. “If you need me, Boss, you know where to find me,” he said softly to her one night, right as they were all making their way to their own bedrooms after dinner. She raised an eyebrow, but she joined him a few minutes later, leaning against the door, nude and unashamed. “It’s been a while since we’ve done this, hasn’t it Book?” she asked, as if she was wondering why he was offering himself up now. 

“Well, I hope I’m not too out of practise,” he settled for joking, and whatever she saw in his eyes must have satisfied her for the moment anyway, because the next thing he knew she was straddling him, pulling his pants down just enough to free his cock. She jacked him a few times, making sure he was fully hard, and then lowered herself down. She didn’t take him inside her at first, but rubbed the tip through her wet folds, and he groaned at the sensation, at how it was so good and yet not enough. She had always loved to tease like this, and in the early days sometimes he wouldn’t even make it inside her, would spill just like this against her entrance.

When she finally sank down onto him, Booker nearly cried—it had been years since he had been inside anyone, and the sensation was overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that this was Andy, his boss and his closest friend, nor the sheer sensuality of the image she made, pressing him down into the bed as she rode him hard. She brought his hands up at one point to caress her breasts and he happily complied, cupping and squeezing them tenderly, the pads of his thumbs stroking over the nipples.

“Oh yes, Booker,” she gasped out, and he knew she must be close because she never made much noise otherwise. “Oh, right there—“ he had to bite his lip to keep from spilling as he felt her inner walls contracting around him, as her thighs shook against his. She rode him through it, her hips grinding against him in little circles as she wrung out the last of her pleasure. She finally unseated herself with a contented sigh, before looking down at where his cock was flushed and throbbing. “You didn’t—“

His cheeks flushed, he shook his head. “It’s ok,” he replied, tucking himself back into his pants with a soft groan. “Don’t need to tonight.” Andy blinked, confused. “Are you sure?” She asked, gesturing at where his cock was distorting the lines of his pants. “Cause it looks like—“ Booker threw his arm over his face with a sigh, hiding his gaze from her. “It’s fine, just leave it,” he snapped. Andy let it be, but she had a thoughtful look on her face, as if some pieces were finally slotting into place.

It took Booker a few weeks to figure out what she was doing, why she was oh-so-casually brushing against him when she needed to reach for a plate in the kitchen, why she had started clapping him on the shoulder when she passed him. She was wearing down his defences, and it was working, damn it. He had always craved touch, ached for it, and the little teases only made him want it more. 

It came to a head when they were watching a film all piled together on the huge sofa. Andy was next to Booker, as usual, and given how many people were crowded onto the sofa, she was quite close. Booker was acutely aware of the line of her body pressed up against his, of how, with her legs curled up under her, one of her knees was resting on his thigh. 

Partway through the film, he felt her hand creep onto his knee, rubbing little circles there, and he chewed on his lip. He had to stop this, he had promised himself—but it felt so good to be touched after so long. The circles got bigger, and bigger, and all of a sudden her fingers were playing at the waistband of his sweats, and he took in a sharp breath as she reached in to take his length in hand. 

“Boss, please,” he begged before he remembered. He wasn’t allowed to have this, not anymore. “No, don’t,” he murmured, and her hand stilled where it had started stroking him. “No? Are you sure Booker?” She asked, trying to look him in the eyes. “I want to make you feel good, if you’ll let me. Like you’ve been working hard to make all of us feel good.”

The rest of the team was only making a token attempt to act like they were watching the film at this point, which brought a flush to his cheeks. Goddamn it, he thought, his cock throbbing in her hand as she just held him, not moving until he gave her permission. He was going to have to explain everything to them or else they would never let it go.

He turned to bury his face into Andy’s shoulder and mumbled something inaudible, voice hitching. “Book, you’re going to have to say that louder, I couldn’t hear a word,” Andy said gently and when he pulled his head up, she was shocked to see that his eyelashes were wet. “I don’t deserve it,” he said dejectedly.

Andy sucked in a deep breath, pulling her hand out of his pants so that she could wrap both arms around him. “Is that what this is all about? You’re beating yourself up, refusing to let us reciprocate with you, because you think you don’t deserve to feel good?”

The miserable look he gave her served as confirmation enough. “Booker, no,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You do deserve nice things, just as much as any of us. It would make us happy to please you, you know that.” And that was what cracked his last line of defences and he was sobbing into her shoulder, two hundred years of sorrow and pain coming out at once. 

Joe, Nicky and Nile shared a look and moved, as if in unison, to wrap their arms around him as well, sheltering him into the middle of a pile of warmth. “I don’t—“ he was gasping out against Andy’s neck. “I betrayed all of you, I don’t deserve to even be here, much less anything else—“ and Nile was fed up with hearing that nonsense. 

“Sebastien Le Livre,” she said sternly, and that got his attention, because she never called him by his full name. “That is just ridiculous. Do you think that we would have let you come back if we didn’t forgive you, truly and fully? You made a mistake, a bad one, yes, but you’re still our brother, our comrade, and you’ve shown yourself to be more than remorseful. We all trust you, we all love you, and it’s not your decision when or how we forgive you, it’s ours. And we do, don’t we guys?”

Each of them said yes, and pressed a kiss to Booker’s back or his cheek or the top of his head, which just set off a fresh wave of tears. Finally, when he was all cried out, Andy smiled softly at him. “I know it’s not easy. But you do deserve our love. Please promise me you will try and believe that?” He hesitated, but nodded.

It wasn’t an immediate breakthrough. Booker got better at accepting hugs or other small signs of affection, but he would still brush his teammates away when they wanted to get him off. “I’m trying,” he would say, “but I’m not there yet,” and that was already a sign of progress. 

Until one day he was with Nicky and Joe. He had rimmed Nicky thoroughly to get him ready for Joe and now he was laying on his side, watching them as they made love. They were truly a gorgeous sight to see, he thought. He was always a little in awe that they would let anyone else glimpse this, this deep reservoir of passion between them and affection that settled all the way in their bones. Joe came first, and when he pulled out he was clearly intending to finish Nicky with his mouth, when Nicky shook his head. 

Nicky and Joe seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes in that way they did sometimes, and then Nicky looked up at Booker. “Book? I would like it if you would come inside me. If you want.” It was brilliant on Nicky’s part, Booker had to confess, to phrase it as something he wanted, something that would bring Nicky pleasure as well, and he found himself nodding, almost despite himself, with a shaky smile.

He wished that he could drag it out forever, he thought as he sank into Nicky’s tight warmth. He still didn’t chase his own pleasure, but made it all about Nicky—making sure to angle his hips just right and wrapping his hand around Nicky to stroke him off in time with his thrusts, listening carefully to each whine and gasp to adjust his grip accordingly. But it was a start, he thought distantly as he drove deep inside Nicky and came with a sob, his first orgasm since his exile. It was a start of his long journey home to them.


End file.
